My Strongest Weapon Is In My Pocket Right Now

Last night I attended the Stonewall Bar Association's annual dinner at Georgia Tech Conference Center along with 277 other LGBT and gay-friendly attorneys, judges, law students, legal professionals, and service providers. The event honored Dan Grossman, a constitutional law attorney from Atlanta who won a settlement from the city of Atlanta after the Atlanta Police Department conducted an unlawful raid on the Eagle, a popular leather bar in Atlanta, grossly violated the 4th amendment rights of the people in the bar.

During his keynote address, Grossman reminded us that most of us walk around armed at all times -- with our bar cards -- and it is our duty to do good with them. Everyone hopes to get rich, but that's not why most people become lawyers. We become attorneys because we want to serve justice, and to stick up for the underdogs.

In my small practice, I always have at least one pro bono case open at a time (usually two), and I provide dozens of hours of pro bono work each year as a guardian ad litem through the Atlanta Volunteer Lawyers Foundation.

As we reach the end of Celebrate Pro Bono week, I am inspired by Grossman, 2011 award recipient Christine Koehler and by all of the other attorneys out there who routinely work for free to ensure that justice is served.

Meet Me at Atlanta Pride this Weekend

I will be at the Atlanta Pride festival this Saturday, Oct. 8th volunteering in the Stonewall Bar Association booth located at Blue-7 (between PAWS Atlanta and the Atlanta Opera) between 10-noon and 2-4 p.m. This year's Pride festival will be held in Piedmont Park. Come say hello and pick up freebies: we are handing out really cute Stonewall Bar coasters & our handy directories of gay and gay-friendly attorneys and judges throughout Georgia. The festival is free, with live entertainment, and you can even bring your own cooler.

Should there be a national sperm bank registry?

The New York Times has been running an interesting series of op-ed articles about whether the U.S. should regulate sperm banks. While most of the columnists have opposed regulation, one of my former law professors, Naomi Cahn, raises a question worth considering: is it a problem if one person is the biological father for 150 children in this country? Here's the article.

If Using a Known Donor to Inseminate, Don't Pick a Father

If you are going to use a sperm donor to get pregnant, picking someone who is already a dad seems like a good idea, right? After all, that person has a track record! Not so fast -- according to this L.A. Times article, being a father depletes testosterone levels. Lower testosterone usually equals lower sperm count.

*Note to prospective parents -- this does not mean that you need to cross everyone off of your list who has previously gotten someone pregnant: the study suggests that it is the act of parenting which lowers testosterone levels, not the mere act of reproducing.

Post-Break Up: How to Handle Your Tattoo With Your Ex's Name

Brilliant idea from a radio DJ this morning, for what to do about the tattoo with your ex's name on it if you can't afford to remove it or don't want to go through the pain of removing it: get a cat or a dog and name it after your ex.

The Court Order You Will Never Get

In my divorce practice, I sometimes find that my clients have unrealistic expectations about what the law can and cannot do for them. Generally, the law does not favor self-help. This means that even if you get a court order, the court and the police must be the ones to enforce it.

Divorce and custody cases are filed in Georgia in superior court, which is a court of equity. Custody cases are decided based on a "best interest of the child" standard, and in assessing this standard, the courts are permitted to consider factors such as the character of the parents, which is otherwise impermissible under the Federal Rules of Evidence and Georgia law.

That said, however, there's a difference between what is evidence of bad character vs. what is a difference of opinion on parenting style. A person can be a terrible spouse, but an excellent parent.

If you are wanting "justice" (with you doing the defining of what is just), you are not likely to get it from a court. But, just for fun, I've created a fill-in-the-blank form for you to fill out as a venting exercise. Please don't take this to Court -- it would be embarrassing.

Final note if you are looking for help in how to draft a contract: note that for each of the major things the Ex is required to do, there's a consequence if it is not done. These particular consequences are insane, of course (and the examples of bad behavior not all frivolous, and taken from my actual cases over the years), but generally, you want to build in consequences for each action in your contracts.

Link to download: The Order You Will Never Get

Non-Sceney Social Opportunity Post-Break-up: Square Dancing

How do you meet people following a break-up, without the pressure to immediately start dating again? Square dancing! New classes started on August 8 for the Hotlanta Squares, an LGBT square-dancing group that dances each Monday night from 7-9 p.m. at the First Metropolitan Community Church located at I-85/N. Druid Hills Rd in Atlanta. All are welcome (including allies). No special skill required.

Square dancing is a good old-fashioned drug/alcohol-free fun way to meet people, get a little exercise and have a very good time. Dress is utterly casual (most people wear shorts & t-shirts in the summer), and the Squares change up dance positions all night long, so you do not need to bring a partner. (In fact, most people do not come with a partner, so it is a perfect activity for single (or newly-single) people!)

Classes are FREE for the first three weeks of the open house (August 8, 15 & 22) and only $5 each week thereafter.