Should there be a national sperm bank registry?

The New York Times has been running an interesting series of op-ed articles about whether the U.S. should regulate sperm banks. While most of the columnists have opposed regulation, one of my former law professors, Naomi Cahn, raises a question worth considering: is it a problem if one person is the biological father for 150 children in this country? Here's the article.

If Using a Known Donor to Inseminate, Don't Pick a Father

If you are going to use a sperm donor to get pregnant, picking someone who is already a dad seems like a good idea, right? After all, that person has a track record! Not so fast -- according to this L.A. Times article, being a father depletes testosterone levels. Lower testosterone usually equals lower sperm count.

*Note to prospective parents -- this does not mean that you need to cross everyone off of your list who has previously gotten someone pregnant: the study suggests that it is the act of parenting which lowers testosterone levels, not the mere act of reproducing.

Post-Break Up: How to Handle Your Tattoo With Your Ex's Name

Brilliant idea from a radio DJ this morning, for what to do about the tattoo with your ex's name on it if you can't afford to remove it or don't want to go through the pain of removing it: get a cat or a dog and name it after your ex.

The Court Order You Will Never Get

In my divorce practice, I sometimes find that my clients have unrealistic expectations about what the law can and cannot do for them. Generally, the law does not favor self-help. This means that even if you get a court order, the court and the police must be the ones to enforce it.

Divorce and custody cases are filed in Georgia in superior court, which is a court of equity. Custody cases are decided based on a "best interest of the child" standard, and in assessing this standard, the courts are permitted to consider factors such as the character of the parents, which is otherwise impermissible under the Federal Rules of Evidence and Georgia law.

That said, however, there's a difference between what is evidence of bad character vs. what is a difference of opinion on parenting style. A person can be a terrible spouse, but an excellent parent.

If you are wanting "justice" (with you doing the defining of what is just), you are not likely to get it from a court. But, just for fun, I've created a fill-in-the-blank form for you to fill out as a venting exercise. Please don't take this to Court -- it would be embarrassing.

Final note if you are looking for help in how to draft a contract: note that for each of the major things the Ex is required to do, there's a consequence if it is not done. These particular consequences are insane, of course (and the examples of bad behavior not all frivolous, and taken from my actual cases over the years), but generally, you want to build in consequences for each action in your contracts.

Link to download: The Order You Will Never Get

Non-Sceney Social Opportunity Post-Break-up: Square Dancing

How do you meet people following a break-up, without the pressure to immediately start dating again? Square dancing! New classes started on August 8 for the Hotlanta Squares, an LGBT square-dancing group that dances each Monday night from 7-9 p.m. at the First Metropolitan Community Church located at I-85/N. Druid Hills Rd in Atlanta. All are welcome (including allies). No special skill required.

Square dancing is a good old-fashioned drug/alcohol-free fun way to meet people, get a little exercise and have a very good time. Dress is utterly casual (most people wear shorts & t-shirts in the summer), and the Squares change up dance positions all night long, so you do not need to bring a partner. (In fact, most people do not come with a partner, so it is a perfect activity for single (or newly-single) people!)

Classes are FREE for the first three weeks of the open house (August 8, 15 & 22) and only $5 each week thereafter.

TIME Magazine: Men & Women Do About the Same Amount of Housework

This week's issue of TIME has an interesting article about new research revealing that men and women do about equal amounts of housework.

I was initially skeptical, but the researcher's larger point -- that more of today's fathers expect to -- and do -- take an active, equal role in parenting their children echoes what I have seen in my divorce practice. Many of my male clients have begun custody discussions by stating, "I want to have my children with me 50% of the time and I will not accept anything less." It is always admirable and encouraging to see parents committed to equal parenting of their children, even when they cannot live together anymore.

Playlist: Empowering Break-up Songs

Wallowing in power ballads is never a good idea, post-break-up. Ok, a little wallowing is ok -- but when you are ready to start moving on, you need a kick-butt set of empowering songs on your playlist. What would be on such a playlist though? Here are some of my initial thoughts:

• I WILL SURVIVE by Gloria Gaynor (or Cake)
• F* YOU by Cee-Lo Green
• STRONGER by Sara Evans
• SO WHAT by Pink
• YOU'LL THINK OF ME by Keith Urban
• FIGHTER by Christina Aguilera
• IRREPLACEABLE by Beyoncé
• SINCE U BEEN GONE by Kelly Clarkson
• PICTURE TO BURN by Taylor Swift
• CRY ME A RIVER by Justin Timberlake
• BELIEVE by Cher
• SURVIVOR by Destiny's Child

What else would you add? Feel free to comment.