From Saturday's New York Times, a case that illustrates the exact opposite of what is meant by the "best interest of the child" standard used in child custody cases in Georgia: a lesbian couple splits, and the biological mother treats the couple's child like a piece of property, dragging the child from Vermont to Virginia to Nicaragua, while bad-mouthing her ex, in violation of a whole slew of state, federal, and international laws.
OCGA 19-9-3(a)(3) sets out 17 factors that courts consider when determining what the best interest of the child is. One of those factors is "(N) The willingness and ability of each of the parents to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent, consistent with the best interest of the child."
You don't need to go to law school to think about how this looks from this poor kid's perspective, and to know that this high-conflict litigation, secrecy, media attention, and surreptitious moves are NOT in the best interest of the child.
Georgia Adoption and Divorce Law
Practical Considerations from a No-nonsense Attorney & Mother
Monday, April 25, 2011
How to Get a Gay Divorce in Georgia
How to divide children, property, and pets if you are part of a same-sex couple in Georgia -- and what to do if you actually got legally married, civil unioned, or domestic partnered somewhere else.
1. This Is Not A Divorce. Don't Treat It Like One.
In contrast, there's no alimony in gay break-ups -- even if you were a stay-at-home who cared for your ex's mom until the day she died, and single-handedly raised the children.
Sometimes, LGBT people hire the only gay-friendly attorney they know, who wants to treat the dissolution of the relationship like a divorce. This is a bad idea because while it may make you feel affirmed (after all -- you went through so much effort to legitimize your relationship in the first place!), it does not comport with Georgia law. Find a gay or gay-friendly attorney by checking out the Stonewall Bar Association - www.stonewallbar.org.
2. You May Need to File More Than One Case At A Time.
If you own property together and can agree who gets what, you may just need some quit claims drawn up. If you renovated property together, you may need to file a petition for equitable division and ask the court to decide what should happen with the property.
If you have children together and have equal rights to the children (i.e., you both went through the formal, legal process of adoption), and can't agree on custody and child support, you may need to file a petition for child custody. If your ex had the child, and you never adopted the child, you are a legal stranger to the child -- even if you helped raise the child for x years. In this situation, you will probably want an attorney to help you negotiate a private agreement with your ex where s/he voluntarily gives you visitation in exchange for child support.
3. Pets Are Considered Property.
Your dog might be your baby, but in the eyes of the court, a dog is the equivalent of a piece of artwork. It doesn't matter who the better dog/kitty-parent is or will be -- it's just a matter of who paid for the pet, and whether it was a gift. If you really want to go there, you can sue your ex to get possession of the animal, but usually couples simply enter into an agreement outlining some minimal visitation and veterinarian expense reimbursement. That's a simple contract -- no family law experience required. (And not just a gay issue, by the way -- it's part of many divorce settlement agreements.)
4. You May Need to Move to Get Legally Divorced.
If you have children together and have equal rights to the children (i.e., you both went through the formal, legal process of adoption), and can't agree on custody and child support, you may need to file a petition for child custody. If your ex had the child, and you never adopted the child, you are a legal stranger to the child -- even if you helped raise the child for x years. In this situation, you will probably want an attorney to help you negotiate a private agreement with your ex where s/he voluntarily gives you visitation in exchange for child support.
3. Pets Are Considered Property.
Your dog might be your baby, but in the eyes of the court, a dog is the equivalent of a piece of artwork. It doesn't matter who the better dog/kitty-parent is or will be -- it's just a matter of who paid for the pet, and whether it was a gift. If you really want to go there, you can sue your ex to get possession of the animal, but usually couples simply enter into an agreement outlining some minimal visitation and veterinarian expense reimbursement. That's a simple contract -- no family law experience required. (And not just a gay issue, by the way -- it's part of many divorce settlement agreements.)
4. You May Need to Move to Get Legally Divorced.
If you went to Massachusetts, Iowa, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont, or DC (or abroad) to get married, you are in a situation known as a "novelty in the law". (No, that's not good.) Your quandry is that Georgia will not recognize your marriage, so it will not give you a divorce.
Most states have residency periods that must be fulfilled before its courts will grant you a divorce. Georgia's residency period, for example, is six months. Therefore, to legally get a divorce, you will need to find a state that (1) recognizes same-sex marriages when they are validly-performed elsewhere (this list changes fairly frequently), where (2) you or your ex (or both) would be willing to live long enough to fulfill the residency period. Which means you may need to work together with your ex for your shared goal of getting divorced. It CAN be done -- and should be done before you look to marry again, to avoid the prospect of bigamy charges.
Additional Resources
Most states have residency periods that must be fulfilled before its courts will grant you a divorce. Georgia's residency period, for example, is six months. Therefore, to legally get a divorce, you will need to find a state that (1) recognizes same-sex marriages when they are validly-performed elsewhere (this list changes fairly frequently), where (2) you or your ex (or both) would be willing to live long enough to fulfill the residency period. Which means you may need to work together with your ex for your shared goal of getting divorced. It CAN be done -- and should be done before you look to marry again, to avoid the prospect of bigamy charges.
Additional Resources
For a (usually) up-to-date list of states which grant same-sex marriages or recognize valid same-sex marriages performed elsewhere, see the National Conference of State Legislatures' research guide to same-sex marriages: Nat'l Conference of State Legislatures - Same-Sex Marriage
To find a LGBT or LGBT-friendly attorney in metro Atlanta, search the Stonewall Bar Association Directory (and if you live far outside metro Atlanta, call me -- I can probably give you a referral to someone in your part of the state): Atlanta's Stonewall Bar Association
For more on how this issue is playing out across the country, see Newsweek's 2010 article on the subject:
To find a LGBT or LGBT-friendly attorney in metro Atlanta, search the Stonewall Bar Association Directory (and if you live far outside metro Atlanta, call me -- I can probably give you a referral to someone in your part of the state): Atlanta's Stonewall Bar Association
For more on how this issue is playing out across the country, see Newsweek's 2010 article on the subject:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)